Undead (2003)
Review by Noel
Do you like zombies?
Do you like aliens?
Do you like copious amounts full frontal nudity that you feel like you should have dollar bills at the ready?
Do you like zombie fish?
If you answered yes to all of these questions then the Spierig Brothers’ 2003 zombie movie Undead just may be for you…
Well, except for the full frontal nudity. But everything else is there for the viewing…
C’mon you see so much nudity in horror movies, but how many of THOSE can say they have zombie fish? Not many…I don’t think.
Yeah, I’d rather see the nudity as well, but Undead is still a pretty darn fun movie regardless…
Berkeley, Australia. It’s a sleepy town where nothing much happens. Until one morning meteors crash into the pavement and suddenly people begin turning into zombies and there goes our previously mentioned sleepiness. Damn.
We follow Rene (Felicity Mason), a beauty queen looking to get away, Marion (Mungo McKay), owner of Marion’s World of Weapons and town kook, Wayne (Rob Jenkins) the pilot and his pregnant wife (Lisa Cunningham) as they hide out in Marion’s farm to avoid these zombies…
But there’s rain. Strange rain. Rain that picks up random animals like a tractor beam. Could it be that there’s something more to fear than zombies?
Well, you’d better rent Undead and find out, because I won’t even mention the aliens in the monk robes (“I’m comfortable with who I am”).
Nor will I mention the wall of spikes.
You’re just going to have to discover those treasures on your own
What Works about Undead:
1.) Gore, Gore, Gore- brains, guts, spinal stems. Everything you need to have a complete and balanced meal. Mmmmm.
2.) A sign that says “Elvis Parsley’s Grapeland”
3.) An old lady taken out by a meteor. Guess you should have looked before you crossed the street…
4.) Felicity Mason as Rene the Beauty Queen- a much more convincing heroine than Milla Jovovich in those deplorable Resident Evil movies. Plus…Wet -T Shirts!!!
5.) “We respected our parents. We didn’t fuckin’ eat them!”
6.) That badass 3-pronged rifle- Compensate much?
7.) Zombie Fish dammit!!! The fish…bite back.
8.) Mungo McKay as Marion the Aussie Hillbilly- Sure, he looks like a ‘cousin’ from Deliverance, but he can handle a gun. He must have some latent anger from being named Mungo…and it shows in his performance.
9.) John Woo- Yes, Marion can handle the guns Woo-style, but where does he keep them hidden in his overalls? On second thought…I really don’t want to know.
10.) “They’re not Aliens! They’re Zombies! Happy!”
11.) A soda can and a pen make a good bomb- Take note all you disgruntled junior high students looking to make front page news.
12.) Lucky bait.
13.) 90’s Nostalgia- the Club plays a minor but lethal role. You remember those car theft prevention measures from the 90’s…that were worth more than the cars they were supposed to protect? Seriously, who’s going to jack a Yugo?
14.) Last 3 minutes- very cool (“That’s what I intend to do”).
What doesn’t work:
1.) The zombie attacks do tend to get a bit repetitive.
2.) More funny than actually scary.
So do you need any more reasons to see Undead? If you do, I’ll give you one more: Action News with Dick Smart…
I’m sure after reading that you’ve already made a beeline for your video store or Netflix queue…My job is done here.
Happy watching and remember: If it begins to rain where you live, then you might be the target of some aliens. Or you just might need an umbrella.
Available from Amazon
Check out the Undead trailer:
Popularity: 3% [?]
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