The Forever Dead (2007)
Review by The Wolf
It’s pretty hard to screw up a beloved zombie film. You either have some scientific lab create a virus or some sort of mysterious gas that happens to animate the dead. You have an idiot or two fall upon this virus or gas, letting it escape into the world. Then you have this virus and/or gas infect a few people, turning them into zombies. Then they bite each other, making more zombies until you only have a few survivors left. Once you have these survivors, you put them in a small enclosed space where they argue for an hour on how to stop this outbreak from spreading. It’s pretty simple if you think about it. And you don’t need a ton of money to make it work either.
Directed by Christine Parker, The Forever Dead is an independent feature about zombies invading a Southern town. It’s kind of like Night of the Living Dead, but without the social commentary. Or the acting talent. Or the good pacing. Or the interesting characters. But at least it has pop-rock songs and a zombie bunny. And who can resist a cute dead bunny? Apparently I could because The Forever Dead almost left me a zombie.
The Forever Dead involves a lab-tested rabbit escaping from a laboratory, entering a redneck town full of dumb people. Apparently, the rabbit bites a few people, infecting them with whatever virus the laboratory injected in him, creating a hoard of zombies in its path. We get a bunch of subplots involving different characters, who suddenly become part of the zombie madness. Eventually, the survivors of each subplot come together and shack up inside a house. They argue until zombies begin to force their way into the house.
As a big fan of zombie films, I really wanted to like The Forever Dead. I’m all for independent filmmakers to put their own twist on the zombie sub-genre and create a cool story with great visuals. But The Forever Dead was really lacking that special something it needed to be a good film. I’m not saying it was horrible, far from it, actually, but it could have been a lot better. A LOT BETTER.
Probably the biggest positive I can say about the film is that the direction by Christine Parker was really well-done. Parker had some visual style, which actually began right at the start of the film. The beginning was pretty much the ending of the film but running backwards really quickly while generic rock music played. I’ve never really seen an intro like that in many films so I was expecting the rest of the film to be as inventive as the intro. But alas, it wasn’t meant to be. But there was some cool stuff like the point of view of the zombie rabbit, which he saw all in a yellow glow. The zombie scenes were also well directed. The gore scenes where they started chomping on flesh were shot nicely, showing enough gore to make you cringe. There were a lot of close-ups for reaction shots and shaky cam whenever people and zombies were running around. There were also scenes where the screen would flash or turn into a negative image, which I didn’t get. But at least Parker showed she was trying to make a good film and I appreciated her work.
I thought the gore was also handled pretty well. There was enough fake blood and make-up to go around. The zombie bunny, after being chewed up by a house cat, still looked good biting people and hopping around (even though you could see the string attached). One of the zombies has an eye hanging out of its socket. You get a zombie receiving an eye gouge that reminded me of The Evil Dead. Some lips get pulled off via some sharp zombie teeth. A bunch of zombies massacre some ridiculous campers. Good times.
I, however, couldn’t get into the story itself. Parker, who also wrote the screenplay, tried but her characters were way too clichéd and uninteresting. I think it had to do with all the different subplots she presented. We meet so many characters in the first hour of the film that we don’t get to know enough about them to really care whether they live or die. As a matter of fact, they’re so not likable that you actually want them to suffer at the hands of the zombies. I couldn’t tell you which character was which. All I know is that I kept hoping a zombie would jump out and eat them. I don’t think Parker had that intention in mind, but to me, they came off that way. Especially when they have horrible dialogue that made me want to find a stick and bash them over the head with it. It was like watching Britney Spears’ family of dumb rednecks. Annoying! Plus the setup to get all the survivors in the house took about an hour. Too long in my opinion. Better pacing would have been nice.
The characters weren’t helped by the amateur acting. Some people were okay but others were just plain bad. I was actually laughing at some of the performances. It felt like most of the supporting smaller characters were reading from cue cards - really stiff and dry performances. Add in some performances that range from bitchy, to insane, to annoying, to stupid - and you got yourself where you actually want the zombies to succeed. Night of the Living Dead this is not.
And the audio was badly mixed, where the music was louder than the dialogue at times. And there was a scene where boy band music was playing while someone was burying their dead wife. What the hell? I couldn’t stop laughing at it. It was so inappropriate. What were the filmmakers thinking?
Things I’ve Learned Suffering from Rigor Mortis:
1.) Don’t play your portable music player loud. You can go deaf. I don’t think Helen Keller ever had that problem.
2.) There’s a saying in the South: “Not all men are created equal. Some are farmers.” I don’t understand this saying. I have a feeling rednecks don’t understand it either.
3.) A cat mauled the infected rabbit. Pussycats and rabbits…how come I’m feeling tingly in my special place?
4.) If your best friend is a zombie, he’ll probably bite you to death. I know we’re bros but we’re not BROS, you hear? Keep your mouth off of my penis!
5.) Zombies love to eat brains. I guess Paris, Britney, and Jessica Simpson are safe.
6.) Zombies also love feet. I guess Al Bundy is safe too.
7.) Don’t ever hitchhike holding a gun. You won’t get picked up. Only knives and axes are appropriate choices for hitchhiking activities.
8.) If you’re in a group and zombies are chasing you, don’t stay together. Divide and conquer works best. No wonder the South lost the U.S. Civil War.
9.) A son ate his mother. How Oedipus of him.
10.) If you bury your dead wife, make sure the hole is deep enough for her to not crawl out of. Some people just don’t understand, “‘Til death do us part.” Sheesh…
Seriously, The Forever Dead is an okay-ish zombie film that has good direction and gore and not much else. If you’re looking for a smart zombie film filled with tension and suspense, this isn’t your film. But if you’re willing to take a chance on a low budget independent film, I’m sure you could do a lot worse than The Forever Dead. Just don’t expect brains with this one. The zombies already ate them.
The Forever Dead will be released by Brain Damage Films in early 2008.
The Forever Dead Official Website
Popularity: 6% [?]
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