Snoop Dogg’s Hood of Horror (2007)
Review by Noel
One realizes that the word ‘Snoop Dogg’ along with the word ‘movie’ aren’t usually talked about with the word ‘decent’, because aside from his fleeting appearance in Training Day, Snoop D-O-Double-G hasn’t appeared in anything G-O-O-D…
Horror fans know that there are some movies sooooo bad that you just have to see them. Alas, Snoop Dogg’s Hood of Horror is not one of them and adds yet another reason why as an actor and producer, Snoop is a wonderful rapper.
HOH is three vignettes all about 20-25 minutes each and all seeming to forget that horror movies are supposed to be…scary.
-Crossed Out – AKA The Spray Paint Can…of Death! – Woman gets ability to exercise her artistic ability by using her satanic spray can to kill some gangstas.
-The Scumlord - AKA The War Veterans…of Death! – Redneck couple is forced to move in with war veterans in order to get an inheritance. Mayhem ensues. The best of the 3 stories, meaning the only one marginally entertaining.
-Rapsody Askew - AKA The Rap Career…of Death! – remember that Twilight Zone episode where someone sells their soul in order to get a musical career? Think of this as a boring, poorly acted version of that.
What works about Snoop Dogg’s Hood of Horror…beeeeyotch!
1.) I WANT my Colt .45 (Crossed Out) – It’s almost worth 1/10th the price of a rental to hear Billy Dee Williams in his best malt liquor shilling voice say the line “He had a gun on him…and it accidentally unloaded in his pants.”
2.) Anson Mount (The Scumlord) – In certain wide or medium shots, he could pass for Daniel Day-Lewis…and he gives a wonderful over-the-top performance in the best segment in the movie. His performance reminds you…just how bad the rest of the movie is.
3.) If you’ve ever wanted to shoot one of those annoying Chihuahuas point-blank…then you can live vicariously through Snoop (“No dogs allowed”).
4.) The Anime…is okay.
5.) A 40oz through the head (“What a waste…of Beer”).
6.) Former Playboy Playmate of the Year Brande Roderick and her bloated belly (The Scumlord) – very, very expensive and messy dog food.
7.) Danny Trejo (Crossed Out) – always fun to see him in a horror movie and he elevates his segment from ‘really boring’ to just ‘boring’.
8.) Soundtrack = Better than Movie.
9.) Jason Alexander (Rapsody Askew) – has an acid cameo as a music producer, and a wonderful fake accent. I wonder if he took this role because it was easy money…and because he knew no one would ever see it.
What doesn’t work-izzle:
1.) You know a movie’s not working for you when you hear a song in the background, focus on it instead of the poor story…and then you can’t wait for the movie to be over so you can illegally download it.
2.) Daniela Alonso (Crossed Out) – her performance is way too serious, as if she doesn’t realize she in a film called Snoop Dogg’s Hood of Horror. A little more enjoyment would have made the segment more fun.
3.) Pooch Hall (Rapsody Askew) – His eye-rollingly bad overacting is one of the worst parts of the worst segment of the movie
4.) Are ghosts…supposed to leave shadows on the wall?
5.) No Budget (Rapsody Askew) – The big ‘Rap Awards’…look like they were shot in a Bakersfield back alley.
6.) Did I mention there really isn’t a moment in this entire movie that’s actually scary? Director Stacy doesn’t seem to get that ‘gory’ doesn’t always translate into ‘frightening’.
So, if you’re specifically looking for a 90 minute movie in which only 20 minutes of it don’t bore you to tears…then by all means rent Snoop Dogg’s Hood of Horror…but remember, Severance is just a few spaces…to your left.
Available from Amazon
Popularity: 2% [?]
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