skip ahead to content

Satan’s Whip

Review by Dr. Royce Clemens

Satan’s Whip is one of the strangest movies I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Not because of what’s in it (forced incestuous male rape, infanticide, cannibalism and the resulting bowel evacuations thereof, dwarves) but because of how it’s handled. So serious was this film that I didn’t know whether or not it was intentionally trying to be funny or it was one of those happy accidents. Truth be told, I still don’t.

But ultimately it’s no matter. If the laughs were intentional, congratulations, you got me. If it isn’t, then this movie’s aims are so high and its convictions held so dear that I like it anyway. In an era where horror directors just aren’t trying as hard as they used to, this movie wants to be an immortal and serious classic so badly that its straight face as it barrels down The Niagara Falls of Bug-Fucking Insane are almost all it needs to actually GET IT THERE! Of all the screeners I’ve reviewed for this site or for any other…this one’s my favorite.

Robert Field plays Claude, a young priest-in-training on the cusp of acceptance into a small and secret chapter of the Catholic Church known only as “The Brotherhood.” The last tying he needs to do before he can become a full-fledged member is to find a priest who vanished from The Brotherhood some time before. They sent another guy, but he was killed and eaten and the remains were sent to The Brotherhood’s offices. No not THOSE remains, it was the, um, digestive remnants.

So it starts out as a Taxi Driver-esque type deal where a young guy roams the city streets as night. This works because Field is quite an eloquent young actor, the spitting image of someone in Yale Law, hoping to join Dad’s firm. He has constant voice-over narration where he divulges his suspicions that almost everyone he comes into contact with is an agent of the Devil made flesh. He tries to test a deaf panhandler, with unexpected results. I was waiting for him to do something crazy and dangerous and listen to him justify it.

But that never happens. This movie goes wildly off the rails in the most entertaining way possible with the introduction Claude is looking for, one Father William, played by Pete Barker in a performance best described as “memorable”. Lemme tell you about this guy. He’s an actor for people who think Tommy Lee Jones is too animated and hysterical. He’s the kinda guy who would have slapped Lee Marvin around for “bein’ too much of a damned sissy.” He delivers the most ink-black, profane dialogue with such a straight face that I defy you not to bust a gut laughing. The character doesn’t take his vows all that seriously, which leads to an excruciatingly funny moment where he says…

“I don’t trust any man who hasn’t had a taste of pussy… ESPECIALLY a priest.”

It has to be seen to be really believed.

But there has been a reason for Father William’s absence from The Brotherhood. Two sisters (Sarah Huling and the striking Jennifer Malloy) are holed up in their house, in fear that their brother Christopher (who is believed to be possessed) will come after them, to eat the still womb-bound infant child of the Huling character.

The movie then runs on this plotline for the rest of the running time. The thing is, it seems like a fairly serious horror movie until a moment comes out of the blue that’s funny as all hell, which is why I’m having trouble deciphering whether or not the film is intentionally funny. Yes, even the most serious movies have moments of levity, but they’re usually low-key. They don’t go for belly-laughs like this one does. I won’t describe them to you because I don’t want to give them away. And I’m sure another viewing might clear all this up, but…I’m not really sure I WANT it cleared up. This movie’s bipolar shifts in tone had me on my toes, when so many other movies sleepwalk and inspire me to follow suit. I wasn’t really sure how to act.

But in spite of all that, there are plenty of other things to recommend. This movie is quite well-made for such a low-budget DV feature. They manage to achieve color desaturation on a budget, so mad props to the guy behind the camera. And all the performances are actually quite strong. One of the actors has trouble with English, but he had conviction, so I’ll let it slide. And the Barker performance may not be “great,” but it’s wholly appropriate for the movie he’s in.

I don’t know if this could be described as a “horror comedy,” but if it is, it’s the best one in many a moon.

Satan’s Whip will be released by Brain Damage Films in early 2008

Popularity: 7% [?]

[ ‹‹ Buried Alive Exclusive Webisode   Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II  ›› ]