Return to Horror High (1987)
Review by Theron Neel
I love movies, and I watch a lot of them. You name it, I’ll watch it. Some of them are good, and some are bad. Hell, I like movies so much that I even like a lot of the bad ones. I mean, usually even the stinkers have some redeeming qualities. It’s truly rare that I see a movie about which I have little or nothing positive to say. Return to Horror High, directed by Bill Froehlich, is such a film.
Made in 1987, Return to Horror High stars Maureen McCormick, Vince Edwards, Lori Lethin, Alex Rocco, and George Clooney. Its plot is derivative and full of horror movie tropes: in 1982, there was a series of brutal murders at a high school. A few years later, a film crew invades the now-abandoned campus to make a movie about the murders. Guess what happens—that’s right, the murders begin again. One by one, the movie crew starts to drop like flies. This flick’s attempt at cleverness is an irritating narrative device that completely impedes the audience for caring about the characters. We watch each scene as if it’s “actually happening,” but when it ends, we see that it’s a scene being filmed for the movie within the movie. So, as we watch events and their consequences unfold, we immediately learn that what we saw didn’t really happen. This is repeated over and over again. Of course, this being a slasher flick, people do begin to die…or do they?
That’s another thing about this movie—it’s confusing. To tell you the truth, I’m still not exactly sure what happened. It’s good for horror movies to make you think, but they shouldn’t confuse and irritate you. Several times, I founds myself asking, “Is that guy dead? If so, is he really dead, or is he just dead in the movie within the movie?” And the end did nothing to clear any of it up for me. It just made it more confusing. Now, if I cared enough, I would gladly re-watch the movie and delight in figuring out its mysteries. But that’s not going to happen.
Though I cannot recommend this movie, I am going to attempt to find a couple of good things to say about it. Here goes. Well, it actually looks pretty good. It’s well lighted and the camera work is good. There are a couple of decent performances. Lori Lethin, the female lead, is attractive and engaging. Alex Rocco is good, as he usually is, but his role is a cliché. Maureen McCormick (Marcia from TV’s “The Brady Bunch”) gets better as the film goes. She’s somewhat sexy as one of the police officers who seems excited by the murders. George Clooney is only in it for about ten minutes, so don’t rent it just because he appears. He doesn’t last long. Wow, that’s all I got.
Return to Horror High was meta before meta was cool. And if it had been done well here, it might’ve started the meta craze. But, instead, we had to wait more than a decade for Scream to come along and do it right. I suggest you go rent that movie if you’re in the mood for a self-referential high school slasher flick. Leave Return to Horror High in detention where it belongs.
Popularity: 2% [?]
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