Mimic (1997)
Review by Noel
Before the critical success of Pan’s Labyrinth, Cronos, and The Devil’s Backbone…
Before his Hellboy movies spewed geekboy bukkake into Cineplex’s everywhere…
Before he directed convicted felon Wesley Snipes in Blade 2…
Before another sentence begins with ‘before’…
…In 1997, writer/director Guillermo Del Toro took us into the depths of the New York sewers with his buggy and still reasonably effective B-grade chiller Mimic. It apparently spawned two straight-to-DVD sequels, which I’ve haven’t seen. Not only haven’t I seen them, I literally haven’t seen what they look like (on a video store shelf, on any Netflix recommendations), so I’m guessing….they’re really, really good.
Mimic harkens back to a time when Academy Award Winner Mira Sorvino could actually OPEN a film. I’ll bet it’s been a long time since you’ve heard that name in a while, except in discussions involving Oscar winners who haven’t done anything worthwhile this century.
But kids, we’ve got two of those Oscar winners in this movie, which either brings Mimic some degree of respectability or it shows how badly these guys needed work. I think it’s both.
It’s sometime in the Big Apple and kids are either sick or dying of something called Stickler’s Disease. It threatens to wipe out an entire generation of New York’s children and make dozens of parents very, very down. On the bright side, they will have one room available for rent.
It’s all the cockroaches’ fault as they are the carriers of Stickler’s. Fuckin’ cockroaches.
But no kids are gonna die tonight, not on their watch, thanks to Dr. Susan Tyler (Mira Sorvino) and her CDC boyfriend Peter Mann (Jeremy Northam, slumming and having a great time). Why? Because Dr. Tyler has a cure, and it involves cross-breeding other species of bugs in order to biologically wipe out the Stickler cockroaches. The “cure” is spoken with enough conviction and with enough forward momentum so that we don’t try to understand or care about the scientific movie-speak gobbledygook. We just want those little cocksucking cockroaches to die, die, die!!
And they do, thanks to Dr. Tyler’s cure, known as the Judas breed of bug.
And so we flash forward three years later, as displayed by the title card that shows that it’s…three years later.
All is Happy in NYC as there is no crime at all, and all the traffic-free city streets are spotless, practically shiny. There is a generation of pimps, hos, Giants’ fans (Champs!!), Knicks fans (but the Knicks still suck) alive because of Dr. Tyler. And nothing could possibly shatter their idyllic existence.
Unless…
Could it be? No. It’s probably just coincidence that-
-A man is killed and there are traces of buggy juice all around him.
- A ceiling is replete with unidentified fecal matter. Where are the girls from 2 Girls/1 cup when you need them?
-A couple of kids have found some very strange looking insects, and are willing to part with them for a price.
But the Judas breed was supposed to be wiped out in 6 months. Is it possible, just possible, that they’re not dead? The answer is yes. They’re not dead. In fact, they’re alive (“They were designed to die, but they’re breeding!!!”).
And they’re different. They’re bigger, stronger, faster, and they look a lot like us. In fact, they’re copycats, because “some insects like to mimic their predators”. Okay they only look sorta like us, if we looked like big-ass kooky bugs. And it turns out they’ve been making a little love colony of their own in the sublevels of the NYC subway system (so that’s that smell), and if given the chance, they could take over the world.
Way to fuck up, Dr. Tyler. Everybody clap for and thank Dr. Tyler for bringing about the end of the world-
But no so fast, because Dr. Tyler and her CDC husband Pete are not giving up without a fight. Will they succeed? You probably know because you’ve seen this movie years ago and have a dusty VHS copy somewhere in the back of your shelves. Then you remember that it’s still can give you a decent case of the creepy-crawlies
What works about Mimic:
1.) I got to learn what Track Bunnies are.
2.) The room full of eggs. Uh oh, it looks like they’re hatching…
3.) Mr. Funny Shoes and his insect ilk are not seen that often, as they’re appropriately shot with shadows obscuring them. But when they’re shown in all their insect glory, they make for very effective screen monsters.
4.) Josh Brolin, who (along with Guillermo Del Toro, of course) in the present day is the only actor in this movie considered a star, and the room full of sacs. He really should have gotten better directions. Or at least not written them all over his sweaty palms. Maybe Mouth, Chunk, Mikey, Data, Andi or Sloth could have helped him, but they were nowhere around.
5.) The greedy buck-toothed kid and the fat black kid learn a little too late that it’s not wise to be overly greedy.
6.) Shit on a ceiling is actually a key plot point in this movie. This positive of Mimic was sent to me via IM by Jared Worthington (age 6), of Hansen, North Dakota.
7.) A wonderfully graphic gutted pooch.
8.) Lotion made of insect entrails. Just makes you want to rub it all over yourself, doesn’t it? Go ahead. I’m not watching…okay, maybe I peeked a little. I didn’t think you’d actually do it.
What doesn’t work:
1.) A ridiculously obvious device of a character named Chuy (Alexander Goodwin). Chuy’s an autistic kid who can a.) mimic any sound he hears and b.) can identify any kind of shoe by the sound it makes when it hits the ground.
Hmmmm….wonder if this is going to be important to the rest of the movie.
Seriously, as a character this little retard’s annoying. There are times you want Mira Sorvino to just FEED him to the insects just so he can shut his incessant whining and whimpering
2.) Susan approaching a mysterious figure in a New York Subway (“Do you have the time?”) makes you wonder which Learning Annex course she got her Bugology degree in. I’m no expert, but instinct would tell me NOT to accost a strange man-like figure in a New York subway system, much less one who looks like he’s wearing a trench coat (because that could be all that he’s wearing), and much less one who’s a KILLER INSECT CROSSBREED!!
3.) F. Murray Abraham (an Oscar Winner?) gets a “Special Appearance by” credit and gets to say trite lines like “Evolution has a way of keeping things alive.” In 2004, I think he sold his Oscar for some Jell-O molds and now hangs out with Tom Hulce hocking old Amadeus tapes.
4.) Jeremy Northam’s American accent is payback for American actors doing shitty British accents (thanks, Keanu Reeves in Dracula…).
5.) A very conveniently arriving train. And you say trains NEVER show up on time…
Overall. After 11 years, it’s still pretty scary. If you weren’t creeped out by before, maybe you should be. But just in case you’re not sure about that new boyfriend or girlfriend you’re so smitten with, check under their trench coat, because they could be giant killer bugs. Unless of course, you’re into that sort of thing.
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