Mansquito (2005)
Review by the Film Fiend
I don’t spend a lot of time watching Sci-Fi Channel original movies for several important reasons, the most obvious being the overall lack of talent both in front and behind the camera. I’m also not a big fan of “nature run amok” pictures, which the vast majority of these flicks seem to spend a lot of time dealing with. Watching giant snakes torment bad actors for 90 minutes isn’t exactly my idea of a good time, even if you toss Dean Cain into the mix. Because, you know, Dean Cain rules my corny little world with an iron fist designed specifically for world domination.
Of course, there are exceptions to every rule, Tibor Takacs’ (The Gate, I, Madman) compelling 2005 creature feature Mansquito (aka Mosquitoman) being one of them. Never mind the script’s glaring unoriginality or the surprising lack of bonefied tension — any movie that features Corin Nemec as a tough as nails detective on the trail of an enormous blood-thirsty insect is super-dee-duper in my book. Besides, how can you dismiss a flick that features Musetta Vander (Oblivion, The Cell) as a research scientist, an above-average monster design, and several tender twenty-something stooges posing as hardened gun-totting police officers? It’ll rot your ocular cavities, but damn if it isn’t sweet as honey-roasted smores.
It also makes a swell gift for would-be campers and their kids!
While attempting to escape his scheduled appointment with a top secret research facility, death row inmate Ray Erikson is accidentally exposed to a heaping helping of radioactive mosquito goo, a substance which quickly transforms him into the impossibly cool titular character. Caught in the crossfire is curvy scientist Jennifer Allen (Vander), who just so happens to be oh-so cozy with seasoned fuzz Tom Randall (Corin Nemec), the man responsible for putting Ray behind bars in the first place. What a remarkably small world we live in!
As the rubbery mansquito, Ray begins sucking his way through the local club scene, taking special care to extract several fluid ounces of lip-smacking blood from his corpses before fleeing the scene of the crime. Not only does this unholy abomination enjoy feeding 24/7, it also likes to spend some quality time between the sheets with suitable female counterparts. Needless to say, the creature’s increasing attraction to the slowly-mutating Dr. Allen is causing several interesting relationship problems for the befuddled Lieutenant Randall. Using every piece of equipment in his cinematic arsenal, Tom must find a way to stop this vampiric hellspawn before it slimes its way into his girlfriend’s hip-hugging panties.
Story-wise, Mansquito doesn’t have much going for it. The material shares more than a passing resemblance to every other creature feature produced in the 1950′s, right down to the shrieking womenfolk and heavy reliance on testosterone-fueled, square-jawed law enforcement officials to make sure everything is fine and dandy by the time the film comes to an end. Attempting to locate a shred of logic anywhere in the picture is a lost cause; just turn off your brain, knock back the alcoholic beverage of your choice, and try to have fun with it. That’s about as good as it gets, I’m afraid.
Those sniffing their favorite locally-owned video stores for an ultra-gory B-movie may experience brief disappointed with the level of madness peppered throughout the film. Outside of a few drippy penetrations and a handful of discarded body parts, Mansquito doesn’t have a lot to offer. One nifty sequence inside a big city hospital has its fair share of grue, I suppose, but it’s certainly not on par with some of the other direct-to-video monster flicks sitting silently on retail shelves these days. This is a production for fans of cheesy 50′s sci-fi, not seasoned gorehounds.
Why recommend this silly little flick to any self-respecting film fanatic, you ask? Simply put, Mansquito is thoroughly entertaining. It’s all kinds of stupid, mind you, but it’s entertaining nonetheless. On top of a breezy pace and Takacs’ ability to make this dodgy concept snap, crackle, and pop, you have Corin Nemec delivering unbelievably dorky lines while firing grenades at a giant blood-sucking monster with an uncontrollable desire to make sweet, sweet love to our hero’s saucy girlfriend. That, dear readers, is reason enough to take a chance on this ridiculously cheesy sci-fi outing.
But don’t come crying to me if you end loving it, okay?
Order it on Amazon
Popularity: 1% [?]
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