Interview with the Vampire (1994)
Review by Noel
On the eve of the breaking dawn of the new moon of the twilight of the release of the tweenie vampire-lite movie Twilight (opening Nov 21st for those of you without legal immediate access to a girl 16 or under), we hearken back 14 years ago to 1994. That distinguished year of cinema gave birth to classics like The Shawshank Redemption, Pulp Fiction, Hoop Dreams, Natural Born Killers and, of course, With Honors with Joe Pesci and Brendan Fraser (I am of course kidding about that last one because we all know it was really, really terrible. Really)
What does Twilight have to do with Interview with the Vampire? Nothing really, except they’re both have vampires in it and I needed a review to do…
Remember back in November of ‘94 the hubbub over this little vampire movie with the huge stars? Based on the 1976 novel by Anne Rice (way back when she wrote GOOD books), there was the furor over the casting of Tom Cruise as the fun-loving bloodsucker Lestat, Oprah’s overreaction to the rat-blood scene, and the replacement casting of Christian Slater as the interviewer Malloy due to the tragic death by overdose of Heath Ledger. I mean, River Phoenix. Somewhere amidst the tumult, a movie had actually been made.
The movie opens in a nondescript, empty room in San Francisco, California. For those of you that live in the Bay Area, you know this is impossible because there ARE no vacant spaces in San Francisco that aren’t about to be condemned. We’ll accept this excusable faux pas because, after all, we’re about to watch a movie about vampires so we’re pretty much maxed out with our Plausibility Credit Cards…
Daniel Malloy (Christian Slater) presses ‘REC’ on his tape recorder (it’s 90’s HUGE). He’s about to do an interview (“I’m a collector of lives”) with the vampire Louis (Brad Pitt, needing a fucking hug for 2 hours). Malloy is initially wary that Louis is really a vampire, because who wouldn’t be? But with some preternatural quickness Louis sets him straight and the interview begins….
Louis was an owner of a large plantation. He was rich. He was powerful. He had long flowing hair which made you wonder about the availability of quality conditioner in the 1800’s. But he’s about to get mopey because his wife and child have died…
And the incessant whining begins.
Boo-whoo, Louis begs for death because he can’t hack the pain of living and isn’t musically talented enough to start his own emo band called Woe is Me My Wife and Child are Dead. Lucky for him a vampire named Lestat is down like the Titanic with melancholy plantation owners and is more than willing to have someone who looks like Brad Pitt as a heterosexual vampire life partner because Lestat was one of the few vampires who actually saw Johnny Suede and Seven Years in Tibet more than once. He truly loves the torture.
In the tradition of vampire movies immemorial, Lestat bites Louis and gives him the “Dark Gift” (making him a 90’s Katie Holmes). Louis becomes a vampire, and life (or death) begins anew.
Being a vampire has its privileges: you’re quicker than most, your cell phones get more bars in more places, and you get to kill people with no guilt whatsoever. Downside: You can’t get caught in daylight or you will burn like piggy grease in a fry-o-lator. Still, it’s a pretty good life, at least Lestat thinks so. But Louis is just such a bloody party-pooper (“There was a hell, and wherever we went, I was in it”).
Louis feels guilty for killing, so he dines on rats in order to maintain his blood quotient. He kvetches some more (“I’m frightened of myself”).
Lestat puts up with this for years, but soon realizes it’s an impossible mission to keep up this war of the worlds, so he does the sensible thing and makes Louis and him a daughter named Claudia (Kirsten Dunst’s debut), whose real mother won’t miss her because she’s dead from the plague. And the happy family continues…
Claudia feels no guilt with killing and has happy fun with it. But it sucks because she’ll never grow up and have full vampire Scooby power. She’s understandably upset and does something about it, which is something Louis never had the balls to do…
And for those of you that remember, this is about an hour into the movie (SPOILER) and Cruise/Lestat makes his exit, not returning until the very end of the movie. (END SPOILER) Then Louis and Claudia go to Paris and meet up with Antonio Banderas and Stephen Rea. Throughout all this Louis never ceases bellyaching about what a terrible creature he is…
The second half is nowhere near as interesting as the first (no bitchy Cruise = no fun = more sulking vampire behavior = you want to kill yourself), but you’ve probably seen it…and you remember.
What works with Interview with the Vampire:
1.) Kirsten Dunst’s debut is probably her best work. It’s difficult to steal scenes alongside Cruise and Pitt, but Dunst/Claudia does it with the simple act of cutting her hair. There aren’t very many scary moments in this movie, but her “doll rampage” and her “birth” are pretty frightening.
2.) The Banderas/Pitt near kiss is a pretty good yardstick of how homophobic you might be. When I saw this in the theaters back in ‘94 there were actual shouts to the screen of “No!!” and “Yes!!”
3.) Louis’ poodle snack.
4.) Lestat and his rather stiff “dance partner”. (“There’s still life in the old lady yet!!!”)
5.) Director Neil Jordan’s (The Crying Game) additions to Anne Rice’s original screenplay add humor to Rice’s usual downtrodden purple prose, as a scene involving a hooker and a coffin (my favorite in the movie) highlight Cruise’s coming timing as Lestat (“Your coffin, love, enjoy it. Most of us…never know what it feels like”).
6.) Tom Cruise- He seems to be the only one having ANY fun in this movie (“You’ve been a very, very naughty little girl…”) and despite needing a few minutes to get used to Maverick Mitchell in golden locks and period getup, you sorely miss him in the second half.
And even Cruise’s detractors have to agree that he’s better as Lestat than Stuart Townsend in 02’s awful Queen of the Damned. Sure, you’re sad Cruise said no, but did you have to cast from the nearest dinner theater?
7.) Birds-eye shot of vampire in a theater devouring a naked woman, all in front of an unwitting audience.
8.) The ending, though deviant from the book, actually works for the movie (“I assume I need no introduction”).
What doesn’t work:
1.) As I’ve said, the first half is exponentially more appealing than the second half, despite the beauty of the Paris sets (the Theatre des Vampires in particular). Antonio Banderas’ barely intelligible line readings about how old he is and Stephen Rea’s horrible French accent can’t make up for an absent Lestat.
2.) It’s Hard out There for a (Vampire) Pimp- It’s not Brad Pitt’s fault he gives some of the worst work of his career. Louis the character is such a little pussy that it’s no wonder Anne Rice made Lestat the focus of her later vampire novels. It’s difficult to ask an audience to have to sit through a two hour movie with such a one-note character as the lead, and nothing in Pitt’s performance makes Louis other than a little bitch. Worse than that, he’s a dreary little bitch (“Still whining, Louis”). In retrospect, you wonder if any actor could bring life to such a monotonous character
3.) Guns ‘N’ Roses cover of The Rolling Stones’ “Sympathy for the Devil.” I can’t turn the closing credits off fast enough.
4.) Claudia bleating like Little Orphan Annie before her memorable exit.
Overall. Still some bite to this Interview, a perfect 3-star movie if there ever was one. I hadn’t seen this in literally a decade and its weaknesses are a lot more glaring, but it’s still worth a rewatch if only to see alpha male movie stars dress up and play vampire. And if you stayed awake through Let the Right One In (review), surely you can stomach seeing this again.
Watch the trailer:
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