Goatsucker (2009)
Review by The Wolf
Americans have Bigfoot. The Scottish have the Loch Ness Monster. Asia has the Yeti. And Latinos, like myself, have El Chupacabra (a.k.a. The Goatsucker). Yeah…I think my kind got the short end of the stick here. A mythological creature that sucks the blood from goats and sheep? Is that the best we can come up with, amigos and amigas? Ever since I first heard about El Chupacabra in the mid-90′s, it boggled my mind at how many people actually believed a beast actually exists. This legend was probably created by some sparkly vampiric fiend who’s into bestiality. It isn’t real!
What is real is that Big Biting Pig Productions (who also did the film Maniac on the Loose) did a film based on this creature called (what else) Goatsucker. I was expecting SyFy quality crap here, but I was pleasantly surprised. Unlike El Chupacabra, this film doesn’t suck!
The film is about this hiking tour that wants to exploit the public in believing that El Chupacabra exists somewhere within the woods of the tour. A group of five (Randy Hardesty, Marsha Cash, Neil Vowels, Brandon Schaefer, and Emily Fitzmaurice) join the latest tour to see where El Chupacabra has supposedly roamed and killed people and animals. Bad things start to happen, of course, as the tour’s original guide is murdered by something with huge claws. It doesn’t help when the substitute tour guide (Kim Welsh) disappears in the middle of the tour as well. Now scared, the tourists must find a way to get out of these woods, which isn’t so easy when they’re busy seducing and fighting amongst themselves.
While this happens, some woman (Amanda Stone) ventures into the same woods hunting El Chupacabra, which supposedly murdered her boyfriend. Is there really a big goatsucking creature roaming around? Or is it one big hoax?
Goatsucker really surprised with how entertaining the whole thing was. I was really expecting a massive cheesefest of a movie (it does have its moments of cheese), but it turned out to be an interesting ride that had me laughing and shaking my head at how ludicrous it all was. Goatsucker was more creative than it had any right being.
The narrative of Goatsucker is the film’s strongest asset. I was expecting to see some lame looking beast pop out of trees and kill the characters in the bloodiest of ways for a cheap laugh. But we hardly get that at all here. Instead, Steve Hudgins (who also directs) focuses on the characters and their relationships to each other during this whole ordeal. It kind of reminded me of Night of the Living Dead, where the characters have to group together and aid each other for survival, but instead begin to bicker and end up hurting themselves in the process. The character development is brought out during these scenes, making you root for some and wish for others to bite the dust. And yeah, El Chupacabra makes several appearances here. But we hardly see it and that’s probably a good thing. I rather see just a hand or a glimpse of a face than see someone in a cheap homemade costume. So kudos on the producers for that.
I also thought the narrative was great because I honestly had no idea how the film was going to end. I thought about a character in a certain way that turned out to be quite the opposite. All the characters are in somewhat related to each other, all carrying secrets that reveal themselves at the end of the film. The twists and red herrings about these people kept my interest really high and I did not see the ending coming at all. I was very impressed and very satisfied at how the story for Goatsucker turned out. Why can’t big budget horror films follow the same suit?
The special effects are obviously low budget, but we do get to see blood here. I think the goriest scene is when one character is dragged through the woods and torn to shreds. All the other death scenes are mainly implied and off-screen, which isn’t a bad thing. Sometimes in horror, it’s better not to see than to see. It lets our imaginations run wild.
The direction by Steve Hudgins is actually pretty good. We get a lot of first-person POV shots by El Chupacabra that sort of reminded me of The Evil Dead in a way. There’s a sequence that’s supposed to be a commercial for the Hiking Tour and it’s shot in a grainy documentary sort of way, which I liked. There were some nice overhead shots as well. The pacing was good. The editing was a bit distracting at times due to every new scene having this long transition, but it didn’t hurt the film too much. There were some lighting and audio issues at times, but you expect that from low budget films. It was a very nice job. I would like to see what Hudgins can do with a much bigger budget.
The acting was decent and no one stood out. Well maybe except Emily Fitzmaurice, whose blonde bimbo character, Rhonda, annoyed me to no end. I don’t blame the actress too much for that. That’s probably how the character was written. But she really made me want El Chupacabra to hunt her ass down and butcher her. Grating with a capital G. But everyone else was fine and actually carried this film really well from beginning to end.
The DVD also comes with a 7 minute blooper reel, three deleted scenes, and two trailers. Not too shabby.
Things I’ve Learned While Crossing “Owning a Goat” Off of My Bucket List:
- The original tour guide, scared by some growling thing chasing her, ran to a shack. She probably found herself in another part of the world. And she might have found herself behind the wheel of a large automobile. And she’ll probably find herself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife. And then she’ll ask herself, “Well…how did I get here?”
- Hidden Valley Hiking Tours offers it customers a chance to see El Chupacabra up close. Screw that! I want to see where they make that delicious salad dressing. Mmm yum!
- Rhonda thought she was going to see the GoatMUNCHER. If I were there, the only thing she would see or feel is the Carpetmuncher. And I do speak in tongues…
- Rhonda didn’t realize that going to the bathroom in the woods meant doing it by a tree or next to plant life. I wouldn’t have been surprised if she was in possession of a burning bush while peeing.
- Rhonda found a bloody, ripped shirt and freaked out. It probably belonged to Carrie White. She never understood the concept of “plugging it up”.
- The stutterer got his head ripped off by El Chupacabra. That’s one way to cure a speech impediment.
- Rhonda thought that the perfect future husband has to be good looking, wear nice clothes, and own a car. No wonder I’m single – I don’t own a car! Damn my handsomeness…
- Eugene got his insides pulled out of his body by El Chupacabra. That action sure took a lot of guts.
The Final Howl:
Big Biting Pig Productions does it again by bringing the low budget goods with Goatsucker. With a decent cast, nice direction, and an interesting and entertaining narrative, Goatsucker is 86 minutes of B-movie fun. Definitely worth taking a hike for.
Watch the trailer:
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