Deadwood Park (2007)
Review by Dr. Royce Clemens
Those of us who review low-budget DVD horror films have come to embrace that wonderful and magical word “mediocre.” When confronted with other words like “terrible,” “amateurish,” “dull,” “stupid” and “craptacular,” mediocre ain’t so bad. Shit, after sitting through all eight Hellraiser movies (which really is as much like getting hit in the balls with a railroad tie as it sounds), a movie that’s just mediocre sounds like heaven.
Or at the very least, a significantly less pee-stained part of hell.
Deadwood Park is exactly that: Mediocre. It’s not great, it’s not even good, but it sure as shit ain’t Pocahauntus, which shouldn’t be screened near pregnant women or open flames.
No, Deadwood Park had potential, as does its director, Eric Stanze…Y’know, just as long as he hires better actors and doesn’t write for himself again.
Jake Richardson (William Clifton) is a businessman in his thirties who returns to his hometown of Eidolon Crossing, where his twin brother was abducted and killed in 1979. He moves back into his old decrepit house (which mysteriously has running water, but no electricity) and he starts seeing ghosts. These ghosts are the spirits of children who were also abducted and murdered in a killing spree that lasted the better part of twenty-five years.
With the help of hardware store employee/Sheriff’s daughter/walking backstory dispenser Olivia (Lindsey Dee Luscri), Jake unravels the mysteries of Eidolon Crossing in the most glacially paced Scooby-Doo episode known to man.
I suppose I should start with the film’s meager gifts, namely how the film looks. It’s certainly shot and edited quite well and uses its Missouri locations to the utmost of its ability. And the places they used for sets are the creepiest fucking things. Particularly Jake’s house and an old, abandoned amusement park, which the DV the film was shot on actually make MORE forbidding and not less. Stanze should sacrifice virgins quarter-hourly to whatever person or organization that found, and subsequently let him use, these locations. There are even points where Stanze cuts into his dialogue and focuses on old rotting rollercoaster tracks.
Which dovetails nicely with what the film gets wrong. While Deadwood Park is an awesome little show to help the tourism board of the ten or so rural Missouri towns it was shot in, as a movie, it leaves plenty to be desired.
There’s a weird sort of particular pacing that comes with a ghost story that’s unique to it. You know that old cliché where a ghost does his ghost-shit and the lead character says “it’s just the wind?” That’s because people don’t automatically assume they’re seeing or hearing ghosts, unless they’re that fat load on Montel. Jake gets accustomed to the freaky stuff awful damned fast in this film, and when he sees Olivia, she’s pretty damned accommodating as well. This is fifteen minutes into the movie and we’re already, story-wise, at the one hour mark. And there’s an hour and a half of this movie left, making it almost excruciatingly slow-going.
In addition, Stanze throws in one black-and-white exposition-laden flashback after another, going all the way back to 1943. They even have one set in World War II France. Complete with period weapons, costumes and vehicles. I guess this is done to provide backstory, but when the payoff comes, all it wound up doing was padding a brisk and frankly creepy 75 minute horror flick to damn near two hours.
As for the acting? Well let’s just say that I don’t want to place too much blame on them, but I’ve seen more emotion from empty Zima bottles. Mr. Stanze, you’re the director. If you ask them to be a little louder, they will comply.
It’s nice to know that in this rapidly waning era of quality horror, someone out there is still trying to authentically scare us, as opposed to irony-ing all over himself. There’s definitely a future for Mr. Stanze.
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