Blood Car (2007)
Review by Tony DeFrancisco
Outrageous prices in gas and killing people combine into one of the biggest and craziest independent movies that I have ever seen. If you HATE movies that deal with killing kids, babies, animals, and other people, then by all means stay the fuck away from this film. But if you love the following, keep reading the review, because it’s packed into one fantastic indie film. Blood Car, directed by Alex Orr and stars Mike Brune, is a fantastic look into what could be in the future. And if this really is going to happen one day, I’m already looking forward to it.
In two weeks, gas prices will be at thirty-two dollars a gallon. People have abandoned the use of cars by either walking or riding their bikes. The only time they use cars is to have sex in them at the “car graveyard.” Archie Andrews (Mike Brune) is a kindergarten teacher, who has enough and decides to experiment on ways how to start up the car. He cuts himself, and figures out the secret ingredient – blood! While trying it out, his car starts, and it can drive! But the blood runs out quickly, so in order for the car to keep working, Archie picks up hitchhikers, shoots animals, and kills old people in the park that don’t have legs and arms. The government, however, starts tracking him down and watches his every move and kill.
There’s a lot more to Blood Car than what it seems like. It’s filled with a few subplots that seem to take up a lot of the time and it makes the film more interesting. One of the subplots is that Archie is a vegan who buys wheatgrass from Lorraine (Anna Chlumsky, from My Girl fame). If you know what a vegan is, you know how unusual it is for a guy who hates meat to kill people for their blood (and this guy has shirts and shit to prove how much he hates meat). In a few scenes after he kills a few people (and animals), the guy breaks down crying his eyes out.
Another subplot is the girl that has a shop across the sand from Lorraine’s. Denise (Katie Rowlett) sells meats, and has no interest in Archie whatsoever. However, it’s once Archie gets his car working that she finally starts to notice him. She is a sexual maniac and once Archie takes her home once, he notices. It’s obvious that this boring guy most likely never even had sex before until the time in his car.
One thing you have to realize about Blood Car that it doesn’t take itself seriously. It’s like a dream for someone who wishes that they can do something with their life that’s interesting. Developing a blood car isn’t the actual dream. They throw in the government tracking him down and that’s what acts like a dream. The ending is almost perfect for one of those times where you are just about to wake up from a dream like this. I’m not going to spoil it, but maybe there’s a lot more to this character that Alex Orr has decided to hide from us.
It’s funny though…really funny. It’s unusual and original. It’s an instant independent horror classic. It’s corny and just plain ol’ stupid. The jokes keep flying. There’s a scene where Archie is hunting animals and we zoom in on the rifle that he’s using. If you look closely to the rifle, you can see how fake it is. Look a little bit closer, and you can see that a bullet couldn’t even fit through the hole that is inside of the rifle. See, even I can deal with something like that.
I have one minor complaint though. There are too many fade-aways. There’s probably a ten minute section of the film that has three fade-away scenes. I don’t understand why they just can’t cut to the next scene, but it’s not that big of a deal.
These actors here are having too much fun. Mike Brune gives one of the best comedic performances that I’ve watched this year. Anna Chlumsky, coming back to the screen after My Girl 2, does a good job but a bit awkward on some scenes. Katie Rowlett is hot, and she fits perfectly into her role. Mike Brune is one lucky man.
Blood Car is one of the most interesting movies that I’ve encountered. Just think about it – could this happen in the near future? Will the government be in on killing people for cars? Could cars even RUN on blood? I demand a sequel in a few years, just to see how much their world has changed and how our world is changing. Then we can hear Orr say, “I told ‘ya so!”
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