Aliens VS. Predator: Requiem
Review by Dr. Royce Clemens
I love monster movies. I make absolutely no apologies for this fact. Those who say they love horror movies and neglect dripping fangs and sharp claws in favor of masked-torturer-of-the-month movies are like fans of indie music and indie music exclusively. Anyone can remake Hostel in their mom’s basement. Making a creature-feature takes time and effort, and I guess they therefore SUCK! I love monster movies for precisely the fact that we don’t see a whole lot of them anymore. They’re different for this day and age.
Yes, I even like the cynical, money-grubbing ones like Aliens VS. Predator: Requiem.
Yes, AVPR is just a way to get the money out of your wallet, but at least it sings for its supper. Everything except the script ranges from good to very good; it’s serviceably acted, the set design is nice, the special effects are good and the makeup and gore effects are first rate. But is there a story here? Are there characters worth caring about? Well, no…
The “story,” is as follows: at the end of the first movie, a dead Predator gave birth to a Predalien (and if you have to ask what it is, I have to ask you why you’re reading this review in return). The Predalien grows up in the span of three seconds for some odd reason and takes over the Predator ship and crashes it into Earth. Before the last Predator dies, he sets a homing signal to his homey on the Predator home world and he makes the trek to Earth to contain and eradicate the Predator menace.
There are also human characters in this picture, but the less said about them, the better.
I will say that the first Alien VS. Predator movie was at least watchable, though no great shakes and not as good as this one. If anything it was fascinating for me as a critic because it proved that you could slice and dice and behead and dismember all you want, but as long as the blood isn’t red and the characters aren’t human, you too can get a PG-13 rating. Although the use of “Benji the Wonder Predator” with the big brown eyes who made friends with the human characters and communicated through pantomime was just plain unforgivable.
AVPR is much more vicious and energetic than it has any right to be. It packs an R rating and much of that goes towards human gore. Part of the appeal it had to me personally is that it packs unpredictability as to who will die. We’re stuck with cardboard characters, that should be no surprise, but after seeing a whole bunch of monster movies, you tend to get a handle on which of these stick-figures will live by the very end. But AVPR features the deaths of a five-year-old boy (on screen), a pregnant woman (on screen) and an entire maternity ward full of infants (off screen). And that romantic happy ending that usually comes pre-requisite in B-movies? Yeah, it’s not happening this time out.
And yes, I saw the production photos of the Predalien myself, and yes it looked ridiculous, but it’s handled in long-shot, extreme close-up, quick cutting and dark lighting. You get a suggestion of the Predalien but never a really good look. Props go to cinematographer Daniel C. Pearl, who isn’t afraid of shadows or negative space. He also lensed the original The Texas Chain Saw Massacre and its 2003 remake. He’s the most underrated DP in Hollywood, and if anyone knows how to protect his director’s limitations, it’s him.
But then there’s the script, by Shane Salerno. It’s not the deepest thing in the world, by thunder, but it knows which side its bread is buttered on. The human subplots are intercut liberally in the first act with Alien and Predator action, setting everything up so it can be knocked down in the last hour of the movie. Ripping on AVPR for a lack of character development and story progression is just asinine and absurd. Would you also attack Goodfellas for its lack of dance-numbers? Expecting Ingmar Bergman when you’re buying a ticket for a movie called Aliens VS. Predator: Requiem doesn’t mean you have high standards. It means you’re a contrarian and most likely an asshole.
Aliens VS. Predator: Requiem has modest goals, but it gets there in stride. It’s Velveeta. Sure it may be all chemical and nothing organic, but damned if it doesn’t make the best and gooiest grilled cheese.
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