A Perfect Getaway (2009)
Review by Michael Varrati
“I don’t even know what this is anymore.”
The above statement of concise confusion was uttered by my movie-going companion little over halfway into a screening of the newly released Hollywood horror thriller, A Perfect Getaway…and I must confess, I could not have said it better myself.
The film, as written and directed by David Twohy (Pitch Black, and also writer of Waterworld, a fact you should consider an omen), tells the story of a newly married couple (Milla Jovovich and Steve Zahn) who have come to the islands of Hawaii for a perfectly romantic honeymoon. However, the whole vacation has a shadow of doom cast upon it when our winsome young travelers discover that another newlywed couple the next island over has been horribly slaughtered by an unknown murderer. To add fuel to the flames, the potential killer(s) may in fact be another couple, which makes the young duo (Timothy Olyphant and Kiele Sanchez) that our heroes have teamed up with to backpack across the island suddenly seem threateningly suspicious. With increased tensions, several deliberate red herrings, and a healthy dose of paranoia, A Perfect Getaway sets itself up to be a vacation that our newly married protagonists won’t soon forget.
Prior to seeing this film, I had heard several sources describe the movie’s unfolding events as “Hitchcockian” in scope and this is something I might agree with…if I had never actually watched a Hitchcock film. I hate to be the Debbie Downer of this notion that any time a thriller contains a smidge of paranoia or suspense with a potential twist that we are free to label it “Hitchcockian”, especially seeing how tension and suspicion were human conditions that existed long before ol’ Hitch even picked up a camera. No, what makes something evocative of this great master is if the work is able to use such emotions to the utmost potential, to create a sense of wrought confusion and panic, to make the audience feel as if they were a voyeur into something truly horrific. Both Argento and my boy, Brian De Palma, have achieved this sense and injected within it their own personal flair. Hitchcock lives on, but I stress…not within the confines of A Perfect Getaway.
Now, it may seem to you, dear reader, that I just went on a rant that seemed completely divergent of the subject of this review, but I assure you, to make this distinction clear is extremely crucial to my understanding and reception of this motion picture. I feel one of the main problems of this film’s ad campaign was the touted aspect that it contained a “shocking” surprise ending. Now, I’ve always striven to give you a spoiler-free review, and I shall do so here. However, I will say that if you, as a filmmaker or studio, make it a selling point that your movie has a big surprise, and that’s the sole purpose of the film and its ad campaign, the final product, in execution, is going to be extremely lackluster. We horror fans call this the “Shyamalan Effect”- we know it’s coming, so we’re looking for it, instead of getting immersed in the story and generally surprised when the twist actually occurs. Beyond that, the problem with A Perfect Getaway is that it is a fixed scenario. There are only four characters, with two or three incidentals, so it doesn’t take much thought to work out the possible endgame before the big revelation. In fact, I’ll go so far as to say that once everyone is all introduced and the story is plugging along, the discerning mind realizes that there is only one outcome that could be possibly considered shocking, and assuredly, this is the one that is delivered.
So, not only is it NOT a surprise, but I’d also venture to say that due to some massive holes in the script, once the shocker is actually revealed, it makes portions of the film seen previously seem somewhat implausible (a problem I had also with High Tension, the French slasher that took everyone by storm a few years ago). Then there’s the whole “explanation flashback” sequence that goes on for FAR too long. If you can’t explain to your audience the obvious surprise without needing a five minute montage to do so, then you are also suggesting that your viewers are not smart enough to “get” it…and I must admit, that kind of irks me. Encyclopedia Brown could have solved this case, and given the explanation why in two sentences at the bottom of the page, and my intelligence would not have been insulted by a script that clearly thinks it’s cleverer than it actually is in execution.
But I digress, I will say this about Twohy’s script…it’s not all bad. One thing I truly appreciated was the slow build of the film. For approximately ½ of the movie, nothing happens in way of action, just character building and the coming sense of doom, which adds to the atmosphere. In a world where audiences demand CGI explosions and blood letting every five minutes to keep their attention, I did think this was a refreshing and nice change of pace.
I’ll also freely admit that originally my sole interest in this film was Milla Jovovich. I am a long standing fan, hailing back to the Luc Besson days. I love Milla’s music albums, and was the guy front and center for each of the Resident Evil films (I never played the games, but as stand alone flicks, they are deliciously fun), so I couldn’t miss her return to horror. Unfortunately, I thought Milla’s talents were criminally underused for the first hour of the film, and while she really got to go all out during the climax, this fan could have stood to have a lot more of her up on the screen.
My biggest kudos, though, have to go to Timothy Olyphant (The Hitman, Deadwood), who’s role as Milla and Steve’s hiking buddy was the breakaway scene stealer of the film. Olyphant played the character with a knowing twinkle in his eye, as if to say he knew what was going on was nonsense, but hey- he gets to make a movie in Hawaii with Steve Zahn and Milla Jovovich, so why not have a good time? I’ve always liked Olyphant, and this was no exception, he got the biggest laughs in a movie that otherwise elicited some big groans.
I hate to give bad reviews to movies starring people I really and truly enjoy, but in closing, I just can’t recommend this film to the horror community at large. If you find yourself at the multiplex during the remainder of these hot summer days, check the marquis and see what other options you have, because A Perfect Getaway is anything but what its title suggests.
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